1. |
The 1st Song
01:58
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This is it
This is the first word of the first song
Not much, but more than there was before
I just sat down with this pen, and this is what came out
Now we got something to sing about
Now we got something to open our mouths for
Now we got something to sing about again
This is it
This is this first chord of the first song
Not much, but more than there was before
I just sat down with this guitar, and this is what came out
If you ever lose your voice
Believe me when I say
You can find it again
Music is an old friend who always forgives
This is it
This is the last word of the first
Not THE last, of course there are more to come
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2. |
Good News
02:07
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Seems like you made it
Made a decision to live
Seems like the hard part is over
And life is always unfolding
Just a matter of seeing what's true
And you don't miss it
The way your belly burned from the vodka
The way your wrists would itch the next morning
Don't miss the boredom
Or the taste of that gun you bought from Wal Mart
Can you believe those fuckers?
$300 and a dumb story about you uncle's birthday
It's the good news
It's the good good news
It's the good news
Still here and still you
And it's ok
You still get lost in a way
That no one understands how to find you again
This time it's different
Now you know not to wait for them
You carry the way it hurt to feel nothing for nights
Then years
It doesn't scare you
But you don't have to settle for the shit you were forced to get used to
Don't bother with those voices that tell you you're alone
That's just a lie that got stuck on Repeat
When really...
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3. |
So Glad
03:08
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She used to leave her body to watch her father do the things that he did
She'd float above the staircase and wonder
"How could he do this, how could this happen?
If I could fly, I would fly far away from here
If I could fly, I would fly so far"
I know it seems like you're learning the hard way
To fear for exactly who you are but
We're so glad you made it
We're thrilled, we're elated
We're taking every chance we can to say it
We're so so so so so glad you made it
She had a home hidden under the house
A hole she would go to share her stories:
"I wonder if he'll unlock me from this closet,
unroll me from this carpet...
If I could sink, I would just keep sinking."
I know it seems like you're learning the way
To fear for exactly who you're being
Who would of though it could hurt so bad
And you'd still turn out to be the best friend ever
Who would of though it could hurt so bad
And you'd still turn out to be the best big sister
Who would of though it could hurt so bad
And you'd still turn out to be the best mom ever
You still turned out to be the best mother for me
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4. |
Don't Wait For Wishes
01:37
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All that seems beautiful in a wish
I think is simply
Being open to the likeliness
That life is drastically more important
Than what the TV's a had told you
What schooling had told you
What your families even knew to tell you
Well, it is, and you don't have to wait for a wish to come true
You've been right all along
Your dreams are all that make sense to pursue
I've been having so much fun
I've been have a blast filling in the places
My life before this left empty and sad
Cleaning up the places those early tragedies
Left scattered around my mind
There I found something i thought was called Hope
Turned out to be ancient longing in disguise
Don't get me wrong
It's not all in your head
Some threats are very real
But so is our power as w come to know it as truth
I'll know you forever
Or as long as it takes to get free from this system of abuse
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5. |
A Song For a Chicken
03:17
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This is a song for a chicken
It’s not just for people with chickens
It’s not just for humans who’ve lost animals they’ve loved
Cause I know she can hear me
I know she is listening
I know she believed the things I whispered to her head as she laid there shaking that night in my hands
“It’s ok we’re home now, it’s ok, you’re safe. It’s ok, it’s ok, I know you’ve waited all day for me. It’s ok, we’ll always love you, you’ll always be with us, it’s ok to let go now.”
And she peeped out her Goodbyes, coughed and closed her eyes for the last time; warm and boney, like I hope to pass should I get the chance of knowing.
Should I get the chance of choosing how I go, may I go as a bird who was bound for life on the ground who finally found the wings to fly.
This is still a song for a chicken, but I don’t think she would mind if you sang it.
I don’t think she would mind if you hummed it over garden graveyards and living tombstones.
Cause I know she can hear me
I know she is listening
I know she believed the things I whispered to her head as she laid there shaking that night in my hands, black and hollow with wings of an angel.
Yeah, I’m serious, and seriously losing it
I hear her song in every tree
It’s telling me to wrap my shell in pleasant cloth and place it in my cradle coffin (shoebox with holes cut in the top), bury it and forgive yourself
Because sometimes bodies, and it’s not always a question of “Why?”
It’s more a matter of time and you’ll spend it a little confused trying to make sense of this world
A consequence of having someone to love is having someone to miss eventually.
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6. |
When You're Ready
02:36
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You're not weird
You're not crazy
As if that existed
As if you ever could be
You're not normal
As if that existed
As if you'd ever want those chains
Fuck the myth of Fitting In
A free mind is more dangerous
When you're ready you can spit out your medicine
When you're ready you can wash it down the water fountain
When you're ready you can spit out your medicine
And I'll hold you till it makes sense
There's nothing wrong with you mind
You're not broken, not even damaged
Just make it out alive
Everything they've done, we know how to undo
And we're not stoppin
Till every cage is open
You can be as sad as you want
You can feel as mad as you need to
It's scary to think it was us
We were waiting for all this time
Now I'm sure of it:
The truth is in the shaking
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7. |
Repeated
02:52
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Vomited, now passed out
On an old friend's small Chicago couch
And this is where I drove all day to be
And this is how I handle my problems
All the vodka and orange juice and cigarettes
(That I swear I'll never touch again)
Couldn't keep this next day from coming
Now my stomach is turning and a fever is running
Just like I did that time I gave up
So I guess I'd better get up
Cause it's already 3pm
And I got to decide if I'm ever going back again
How did I get this far
And how much further could I hope to go
Secure with ancient thoughts of suicide
Half-ass plans to bail and hide
Not much further than Northern Illinois
So I'll risk the traffic and take this sick drive
And let you know when I'll be coming home
So I better turn on my phone
Cause it's already 7pm
I know I've pissed off my friends
But if I might it back now, I can see the last band
And hopefully never do this again
Some things should never be left unsaid
They should be repeated
Again and again and again and again
As many times as it takes to prove that you mean it:
Hey kid I hope you know
Sometimes live is gonna suck
Hey kid I hope you know
Sometimes everything's gonna be fucked up
Hey kid I hope you know
The only way around your problems is straight through them
Nothing is insurmountable
Nothing is undoable
Nothing is unbeatable
And nothing is impossible
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Gloworm St. Louis, Missouri
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